A Poem To Pronounce English Better

If you can pronounce correctly every word in this poem, you will be speaking English better than 90% of the native English speakers in the world

After trying the verses, a Frenchman said he’d prefer six months of hard labour to reading six lines aloud

Dearest creature in creation
Study English pronunciation
I will teach you in my verse
Sounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse
I will keep you, Suzy, busy
Make your head with heat grow dizzy
Tear in eye, your dress will tear
So shall I! Oh hear my prayer
Just compare heart, beard, and heard
Dies and diet, lord and word
Sword and sward, retain and Britain
(Mind the latter, how it’s written.)
Now I surely will not plague you
With such words as plaque and ague
But be careful how you speak
Say break and steak, but bleak and streak
Cloven, oven, how and low
Script, receipt, show, poem, and toe
Hear me say, devoid of trickery
Daughter, laughter, and Terpsichore
Typhoid, measles, topsails, aisles
Exiles, similes, and reviles
Scholar, vicar, and cigar
Solar, mica, war and far
One, anemone, Balmoral
Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel
Gertrude, German, wind and mind
Scene, Melpomene, mankind
Billet does not rhyme with ballet
Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet
Blood and flood are not like food
Nor is mould like should and would
Viscous, viscount, load and broad
Toward, to forward, to reward
And your pronunciation’s OK
When you correctly say croquet
Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve
Friend and fiend, alive and live
Ivy, privy, famous; clamour
And enamour rhyme with hammer
River, rival, tomb, bomb, comb
Doll and roll and some and home
Stranger does not rhyme with anger
Neither does devour with clangour
Souls but foul, haunt but aunt
Font, front, wont, want, grand, and grant
Shoes, goes, does. Now first say finger
And then singer, ginger, linger
Real, zeal, mauve, gauze, gouge and gauge
Marriage, foliage, mirage, and age
Query does not rhyme with very
Nor does fury sound like bury
Dost, lost, post and doth, cloth, loth
Job, nob, bosom, transom, oath
Though the differences seem little
We say actual but victual
Refer does not rhyme with deafer
Fe0ffer does, and zephyr, heifer
Mint, pint, senate and sedate
Dull, bull, and George ate late
Scenic, Arabic, Pacific
Science, conscience, scientific
Liberty, library, heave and heaven
Rachel, ache, moustache, eleven
We say hallowed, but allowed
People, leopard, towed, but vowed
Mark the differences, moreover
Between mover, cover, clover
Leeches, breeches, wise, precise
Chalice, but police and lice
Camel, constable, unstable
Principle, disciple, label
Petal, panel, and canal
Wait, surprise, plait, promise, pal
Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair
Senator, spectator, mayor
Tour, but our and succour, four
Gas, alas, and Arkansas
Sea, idea, Korea, area
Psalm, Maria, but malaria
Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean
Doctrine, turpentine, marine
Compare alien with Italian
Dandelion and battalion
Sally with ally, yea, ye
Eye, I, ay, aye, whey, and key
Say aver, but ever, fever
Neither, leisure, skein, deceiver
Heron, granary, canary
Crevice and device and aerie
Face, but preface, not efface
Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass
Large, but target, gin, give, verging
Ought, out, joust and scour, scourging
Ear, but earn and wear and tear
Do not rhyme with here but ere
Seven is right, but so is even
Hyphen, roughen, nephew Stephen
Monkey, donkey, Turk and jerk
Ask, grasp, wasp, and cork and work
Pronunciation (think of Psyche!)
?Is a paling stout and spikey
Won’t it make you lose your wits
?Writing groats and saying grits
It’s a dark abyss or tunnel
Strewn with stones, stowed, solace, gunwale
Islington and Isle of Wight
Housewife, verdict and indict
Finally, which rhymes with enough
?Though, through, plough, or dough, or cough
Hiccough has the sound of cup
!!!My advice is to give up